The Sex-Starved Marriage

by Michele Weiner Davis

What’s most impressive about this book is Michele’s courage to tell it like it is. She doesn’t mince words. Early in the book she tells us, “Fasten your seat belt,” and she means it. She takes no prisoners, confronting men and women alike on the destructive patterns that destroy marriages. I’ve been researching sexuality and relationships for over twenty years and consider myself an expert in this area, but I was noticeably affected when I read parts that apply to me. I am a low-desire person, so I savored the parts of the book describing my experience; I found myself saying “Uh-huh. You go, girl!” Other times when her words made me squirm, I thought, “Hey, whose friend are you, Michele?” But knowing her as I do, I know above all that she’s a friend of marriage. She’s got the facts straight about what it takes to breathe life back into a relationship, and it includes men and women taking responsibility for what works. There are countless parts of the book I’d like to celebrate, but I’ll just whet your appetite with a couple of my favorites. Michele has the courage to say that if you’re in a sex-starved marriage, even if no sex is not a problem for you, you still have a problem in your marriage. Far too many couples live with an unspoken, unworkable contract that goes something like this: “I expect you to be monogamous, but don’t expect me to meet your sexual needs.” You can’t live under this contract without driving a stake into the heart of your marriage